Reader, here is your reminder and permission slip:

When you're feeling resentful, it's often a sign you need to speak up.

This story is shared with Kyle's permission 💛

Last week I was doing the dinner and bedtime rush... alone. Kyle was downstairs working late. I'd asked him what time he'd be done, and that time had come and gone.

At first I felt fine, but as the minutes ticked by (and I kept checking the clock), my resentment was building.

When he finally came upstairs, my resentment reached the point of *and now I will give you the silent treatment and wait for you to confess your faults and ask me what I'm feeling about it all*

I was left waiting, and waiting.

After the kids were in bed, I knew I needed to speak up. If there's one thing I've learned about silencing my resentment, it's that it isn't good for me or my relationships. So I took a deep breath and asked if he knew why I was feeling frustrated.

We had been looking forward to having some time together that night, but instead, now I wanted to run away and be alone. For years, I would disengage and distance myself to deal with resentment and hurt, but I've learned that it is usually better to talk about what I'm feeling.

We both shared. We both listened.

Some of the patterns we discussed are old ones. But we're still working on them. And that's the key!

Even though these patterns haven't magically disappeared, they're getting better, and we're working on them. At the end of the conversation my resentment was gone. I felt heard and listened to. Kyle and I had a plan of how we would move forward.

Speaking up and sharing my hurt fostered connection.

It's not easy to have uncomfortable conversations, but it's an important way we can work on creating a partnership marriage. Partnership marriage is a relationship where there's room for both of us: including our differing opinions, ideas, and beliefs. We work as equals to support each other in our dreams, responsibilities, and struggles.

In this week's podcast episode, Tim and Aubrey Chaves share a candid and vulnerable conversation that will inspire you to dig deeper in creating a partnership marriage.